


when you get the chance

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Omorashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:32:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: It's all about control.





	when you get the chance

**Author's Note:**

> written for knq!

Dan stares up at the ceiling, listening to the steady half-snore of Phil asleep beside him. 

He loves the mornings like this when he wakes up with a clear head, a rested body, and a sense of peace. He does a morning meditation without moving; takes stock of how he feels, each body part in turn from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He stretches and flexes almost imperceptibly, tenses and releases the tension, breathes and breathes and breathes until he feels lighter than air. 

It's a control thing. That's what he's decided. 

He likes knowing he has control - not of other people, but of himself. 

The day will breed tension back into his bones. It'll weave itself around his heart and his lungs. Sometimes the progression of the day hurts, until at night all he can do is collapse into bed and curl in on himself. But right now he's in control of every part of him. He closes his eyes and retraces the course of mindfulness back to one particular part of him, the ache and throb of his bladder. 

* 

Phil has to remind him to use the toilet some mornings. 

It's never because Dan has actually forgotten. It's always because that part of Dan that wants to tear into a challenge just wants to see how long he can go. 

"It's not healthy," Phil says, not judging but serving a valid reminder. 

Usually Dan will grudgingly go. He leaves the door open, because it doesn't matter if Phil hears him. He kind of likes it - knowing Phil can hear the heavy stream splashing into the bowl. Sometimes he's getting hard before he even finishes pissing, but he'll tuck himself back in and wash his hands and just ignore it until it goes away. 

It's not always about that. (But it's not always _not_ about that, either.)

*

He's always liked long rides, just for the excuse they old. 

Trains. Planes. Buses, even, when he used to be more skint. He likes to sit and feel the jostle of a full bladder against turbulence in the air, the steady rumble of the track, the bumps in the road.

He's taken it too far a few times. He remembers one train ride, clutching desperate to Phil and trying not to wet. He remembers the burn of humiliation trying to make it to the station toilets and how that humiliation turned to satisfaction when he did. 

It's like winning a game, almost. He's only playing against himself, but he's never lost yet - he's never let go until precisely when he's intended, even if the intention is to push himself to the edge. 

He's not stupid, though. He always packs a change of pants and sometimes a blanket for long plane rides. Phil knows what it means and Phil judges him slightly every time but he also still puts his hand on Dan's thigh under the blanket and sometimes he'll slide his hand up Dan's stomach to press cool fingers into his bladder just because he knows how much Dan loves the shock of need. The enabling cancels out the judgement, Dan's decided long ago. They don't have to understand each other's kinks to want to see them through sometimes. 

Phil refills his water bottle for him at lunch, without Dan needing to ask. 

*

They take an Uber home from a dinner out with friends they should make time for more often. 

Dan's had a couple glasses of wine. He's sober, but loose. He understands himself and what he's doing. 

Phil understands, too. He mostly ignores it. He knows if his interference is wanted, Dan will ask for it. He checks emails on his phone and likes a few tweets. Dan idly watches him, head back against the seat cushion and legs splayed open in a way he'd only allow himself to do around Phil. He doesn't need to be polite with Phil's personal space. 

"Let's stop at Tesco," Dan says quietly. 

Phil gives him a surprised look of consideration. "Do you need something?" 

Dan shrugs. "Just want to walk a bit." 

"Alright, then. We're almost out of toothpaste anyway." 

Phil goes back to his phone while Dan informs the driver of the change in plan. 

* 

Dan stands in a fluorescent lit aisle, transferring his weight from one foot to the other as Phil debates the merits of wintergreen over peppermint. 

"Wintergreen tastes like a sweet that's gone bad. I'm getting peppermint." Without pausing or looking up he says, "Breathe, Dan. Do you need to go?" 

Dan sucks in a breath. The need is strong. He casts a sidelong look to the sign high on a wall two aisles over indicating where the toilets are. 

Five minute walk to home. A short lift ride up. 

He can do this. He wants to do this. 

"Just pay quickly," he says to Phil. "I'll wait outside." 

*

Phil takes his time, because he's a sadistic little shit sometimes. 

"What the fuck did you buy?" Dan demands. He's shivering and he has to wee and he maybe sort of loves that the physical discomforts are overriding everything else. His words are shrill but deep down he feels calm and purpose-driven. 

"Dessert." Phil smiles. "And some secrets." 

"Fuck your secrets." They starts to walk toward the flat. There aren't many other people out, none on their side of the street within a visible distance. 

"Be nice to me," Phil says. "The secrets might be presents for you." 

"Did you buy chocolate to tell me it was for me just so you can eat it if I don't take it fast enough?" Dan asks. It's not his wittiest comeback, but he's also trying not to piss his pants so he thinks he can be excused. 

Phil reaches out and squeezes his arm briefly, laughing. It's that soft, low laugh that lights Dan up with warmth. 

Usually. 

Right now the urgency makes him mostly immune. 

*

It's probably psychosomatic, but the second they're in the lift the immediacy of need punches into him. He's so close to being able to go, so close to their own flat where nothing that happens actually matters - he can wet himself, he can have Phil fuck it out of him, he can just walk into the toilet and go like normal - he's got options all presently and immediately available to him. 

Just as soon as the metal doors open. 

"Breathe," Phil reminds him again. He rubs his hand over the small of Dan's back. Dan's sweating there, the shirt underneath his jacket sticking to his skin. He's sweating all over, and there's an almost-queasiness taking over the pit of his stomach. 

Phil's eyes on him make him even hotter. 

"What's the present?" Dan asks. 

Phil opens the bag. "Microwave popcorn, and some of those fancy gummy bears."

It's definitely more a present for Phil than Dan, but it still makes Dan smile. "Did you want to do a movie night?" 

Phil shrugs. "Maybe. Unless you've got... other plans. That involve me." 

Dan closes his eyes and leans back against the lift wall. He breathes in deep and feels the pleasure-pain spike. 

A movie night would be nice 

He exhales. "No," he says, deciding as he speaks it out loud. "Movie night is good." 

*

Phil goes upstairs right off while Dan basically jogs down the short hall and into the downstairs bathroom, the en-suite. 

He stands on the threshold of it, fingers gripping the wood of the door frame. His bladder spasms and he lets go for a few seconds, enough for a short burst of urine to leak a coin sized spot in his pants. 

It feels so good his knees go shaky with it. It hurts to clamp down and stop. He spreads his legs, braces his feet, does it again. The pants and his jeans both will definitely need to go straight into the laundry now. He reaches down and cups himself, squeezing the softness of his dick. He pinches at the tip clumsily through the denim and cotton, then lets go just to feel it wet his fingertips. 

Soon the stop-start will fail, his body will be fed up with being denied release. Everything feels painful and so good, too good. He shuffles another step forward and then pops open the button on his jeans. He doesn't wear them as tight as he used to, but the relief is still immediate. 

He could make a mess right now. But in the back of his mind he's already thinking to Phil and microwave popcorn and how loose and relaxed he's going to feel in the aftermath of this, and how cleanup can be a bitch. 

He takes another step toward the toilet, tugging the zip down. He's pissing almost before he gets himself out, his body understanding what it's supposed to do now. But he's done this plenty of times and he manages to only splash around the rim the tiniest bit. 

It's euphoric, an almost sickening surge of physical release. It feels like it goes on forever and ever, though in reality it's less than a minute before it's slowed down to drips and drops. 

He shoves his pants and jeans down and steps out of them, naked from the waist down but still wearing his t-shirt and jacket. When he catches himself in the mirror, he has to laugh at his own reflection. 

*

Phil already has the popcorn popped, though he's shown great self-restraint in not eating half of it before Dan can even join him. He's changed completely into pajamas, the comfiest he can find. He snags the blanket from the back of the sofa and spreads it over both of them without even asking. 

"Good now?" Phil asks, leaning in to kiss Dan's temple. It's a sweet gesture, because Phil is like that sometimes - sweet. And he knows Dan well enough to know when he can get away with it. 

Right now is definitely one of those times. Dan reaches down and slides his fingers against and then between Phil's. "Good. I'm very fucking good."

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to sarah for proofreading <3 
> 
> [read and reblog on tumblr!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525637)


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